Trying to figure out where to start this post was complicated. I know some of my followers understand energy, vibration, etc., while some are new to the concepts. So I sat down to write and realized I needed to determine where to start so I’m not confusing people or repeating what they already know. There are times like this when I get tangled up in my thoughts. The technical term is “executive dysfunction”; parts of…
Too many times, I’ve seen “spiritual” practitioners tell people “You can’t help others until you’re fully healed.” Which, unfortunately, results in some people giving up on ever being able to help others. There are some things from which “fully healed” just plain doesn’t happen, and there are some things from which healing takes a very long time. People who live with chronic illness, whether physical or mental, may never “heal” from it. People who have…
Things you will NEVER hear me say as a spiritually-based practitioner: – “Have you tried meditating?” – “If you really want it, you’ll figure out how to pay for it.” – “It’s in the past. Get over it.” – “Only positive vibes!” – “You chose to be sick/traumatized.” – “If you think about the negatives, you’ll bring negatives into your life. That’s why bad things have happened to you.” I have seen/heard all of those…
Over the course of my life, I have experienced various forms of abuse and other trauma. For nearly two decades now, I have been on a journey to heal from those experiences. And for most of that time, I have had occasional people tell me “Just get over it, it isn’t happening anymore, you’re just dwelling on the past.” (Or, worse, “You just want attention.”) Trauma is not an event. It is not a “thought…
I am a trauma survivor. For me, that means throughout my life, I have experienced abuse and other things that caused long-lasting effects on my physical and mental health. I have been working for years toward healing from those experiences. But trauma is not just “dwelling on the past,” and it isn’t the same for everyone. Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional, nor have I ever been enrolled in an educational program on…
Too often, when someone is on a healing journey, they’re told to eliminate certain aspects of themselves. To “conquer their shadows” and stop feeling anger toward those who have harmed them. This rhetoric does not lead to healing. In fact, it can hold people back and even worsen their difficulties. When someone is bullied, abused, or otherwise mistreated, it almost always includes an element of rejection and of showing or overtly telling the person that…
Last week, I wrote about how trauma is an individualized thing. No two people have exactly the same experiences, and no two people will respond or react to similar experiences in the same way. Just as how one reacts to trauma and whether one is traumatized by an experience is individual, so is the healing journey. How–and whether–someone heals from trauma depends on a number of factors. How old they are when the experience occurs.…
In discussing trauma and how it impacts people, one thing I’ve seen overlooked repeatedly is the fact that not everyone is traumatized by the same things. I’ve actually been told my traumatic experiences weren’t traumatic because “that wouldn’t have traumatized me, so it isn’t a traumatic thing.” That’s not how that works. That’s not how any of it works. There are a lot of variables behind how an experience effects someone and whether those effects…
NOTE: This was originally a post on my personal Facebook profile. It fits what I’m discussing in this month’s blog posts, so I chose to share it here. Trauma rewires the brain. This has been shown scientifically. When you experience trauma, especially long-term trauma, the basic functioning of your brain is altered. This leads to things like constantly feeling like you’re “on red alert,” because your brain has become wired to read danger signals where…
As a trauma survivor, I’ve encountered many people who think trauma is just a matter of “holding onto the past” or “not getting over something.” They believe trauma is just an emotional reaction that someone can choose or not, and that people who live with post-traumatic stress or other issues related to their trauma are choosing not to get better. These beliefs can be incredibly harmful to trauma survivors–and they are incorrect. Trauma is caused…