General Personal

A Minor Change

You’ve probably noticed it’s been a couple of weeks since my last blog post. Creating content for a business (blog posts, newsletters, Facebook posts, etc.) is work, and sometimes I run out of things to say. Other times, I run out of time to say them. Now that I’m relaunching my romance author pen name and will be releasing a book every other month for the foreseeable future (into 2027, at least), not counting the…

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Personal Understanding Trauma

Stop Saying “Get Over It”

Over the course of my life, I have experienced various forms of abuse and other trauma. For nearly two decades now, I have been on a journey to heal from those experiences. And for most of that time, I have had occasional people tell me “Just get over it, it isn’t happening anymore, you’re just dwelling on the past.” (Or, worse, “You just want attention.”) Trauma is not an event. It is not a “thought…

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Intentions Personal

The Best-Laid Plans

As I discussed in last week’s post, I’m exploring setting intentions rather than goals for my business and my life in general. The primary reason for this is that when I set goals and don’t meet them, it’s far too easy for me to fall into self-loathing and negative self-talk. Sometimes I can’t quite see what I *have* accomplished, only what I haven’t. With intentions, there isn’t an end-game. It isn’t “I’m going to do…

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Intentions Personal

Goals vs. Intentions

We’re a bit more than halfway through January now. Did you set goals or make resolutions at the beginning of the new year? If so, how are you doing on them? I used to fall in line with the “make New Year’s resolutions” thing. I was taught it was what you were supposed to do. Did I keep those resolutions? Not often. Sometimes I forgot I’d even made them; sometimes it wasn’t feasible for me…

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Conscious Creation General

Honest and Authentic

Some people are genuinely positive and happy all the time. This is their natural state of being. They don’t have to put work into it; it’s simply who they are. When they talk about feeling positive emotions and thinking positive thoughts, they are speaking their truth. For many of us, though, “all positive all the time” is not who we genuinely are. We feel potentially problematic emotions like anger and fear. We think negative thoughts.…

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Conscious Creation General

“High-Vibe” Isn’t Always Positive

In talking about or teaching the concepts of energetic attraction (a/k/a manifestation or the “Law of Attraction”), people often state that in order to bring positive things into your life, you have to be positive all the time. According to them, if you think negative thoughts, feel emotions such as anger or fear, or say negative things, you’ll create negative outcomes in your life. In other words, to their way of thinking, bad things only…

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General Personal

The New Year

In just a few days, according to the standard calendar we use here in the US, it will be a new year. At this time of year, a lot of people set goals and intentions for the upcoming year. Many coaches encourage their clients to do so. It makes sense. According to our calendar, one year is ending and another is beginning, which makes it a good time to examine what’s happened over the past…

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General Understanding Trauma

Work With Your Whole Self

Too often, when someone is on a healing journey, they’re told to eliminate certain aspects of themselves. To “conquer their shadows” and stop feeling anger toward those who have harmed them. This rhetoric does not lead to healing. In fact, it can hold people back and even worsen their difficulties. When someone is bullied, abused, or otherwise mistreated, it almost always includes an element of rejection and of showing or overtly telling the person that…

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General Life Changes

Working With Darkness

At times, someone who is on a healing journey is told that in order to heal, they have to eliminate their “shadows” and have and project “only love and light.” This is not the case. The parts of you that are sometimes labeled “shadows” are, often, the parts that have been the most damaged by your experiences. Seeking to eliminate or deny those aspects doesn’t move you toward healing; it simply furthers the rejection and…

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Life Changes

“I Don’t Like It, So It’s Wrong”

In a healing journey, it’s totally fine to seek support and guidance from others. Someone who isn’t you might have a clearer view of what’s holding you back and how to progress despite the obstacles. But when you turn to others, just as it’s important to trust yourself when you feel like they’re incorrect, it’s also important to be aware of when you’re resistant to or just don’t like what they’re saying. Not liking what…

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